Oh, you sit there reading this, still sated and stuffed from your inhuman feast. You blithely smack your lips, stretch and yawn from gorging yourself with t..tu...turrr... I can't even bring myself to say it! Suffice it to say, you're dripping tryptophan.
And here I am, exhausted by the annual terror that has plagued my friends and me since that GPS-deprived Cris Columbus landed in the Western Hemisphere. Apparently he was as good at biology as he was at exploring. Do I look like a peacock to you? Seriously, I think Cris would have benefited from a trip to LensCrafters.
Alas, I digress. Every year it's the same thing. We're persecuted, tormented and terrorized in the name of Thanksgiving. Are you kidding me? Just because some south of the border cultures consider my fam to be intended for sacrificing, that doesn't mean you posers had to jump on the bandwagon to the tune of 45 million casualties a year.
I heard recently Norma is next in line for a Presidential pardon. Even though her attempts at breaking the sound barrier gained her initial media attention, it's been her animated work in civil liberties that brought her to the President's attention. You can see for yourself just how worked up she gets in defending civil liberties for herself and others in the picture. Frankly, sometimes I worry more about Norma expiring from a heart attack than the executioner's ax.
Each of us, in our own ways, are taking things into our own feathers. Obviously, with over 3500 of those little ticklers each, we are far more formidable than you may think. I renewed my NRA membership last week, and since going online, ordering ammo is easier than ever.
The three of us are thinking about becoming a 501 (c) (3)and getting business cards. We're thinking about calling ourselves PETA2 (Powerful & Enraged Turkeys in Action). Our goal is to take the "turkey" out of Turkey Day. Look for our infomercial coming soon.