As my role in a private school expanded, so did expectations for teachers. The more I was exposed to the expectations, the more rebellious I felt.
Last week, after a long day of seemingly one new requirement after another, I was ready to call it quits. Does that sound familiar?
Last year when I began working in a faith-based school, I felt enormously blessed. Woo-hoo! I could talk about Jesus and not have to worry about being offensive or getting into trouble. I didn't realize Christian faith could have so many expressions.
Being full time this year means meeting new expressions of faith head on. I'm ashamed to say, I repeatedly recoiled. Okay, more than recoiled. I whined and complained, at home. Finding no solace, I finally I took my negative attitude to the Lord.
During the past week, in addition to faith services, we also had a behavioral specialist come in. She told staff that defiance typically stems from lack of information, pushing the boundaries, or inability to handle emotions. Ouch! Conviction told me I was guilty of at least two of the poor choice motivators.
But you know what? As I ranted to the Lord from ignorance and irritation, He didn't send lightning or earthquakes or even hard chastising words. Right in the middle of complaining that I didn't understand why the rituals were necessary, He simply asked me a question: could it be that some of the rituals actually bring people closer to Jesus?
Mentally, I stopped dead in my tracks. How can I call myself a Christian if the scales on my eyes are so thick that I don't realize we're all different? We may all be created in God's image, but our spiritual needs differ.
What works for me is to remember our faith journeys are unique. It's remembering that whatever the "mouse trap" is, if it's bringing people closer to Christ, then it's working.
Have you struggled with a faith ritual or expectation? Have you felt just the slightest bit self-righteous, or even outraged at what seems crazy to you?
How have you processed through the outrage to see if the mouse trap is actually working?
This post is being linked to Giving Up on Perfect and Coffee for Your Heart.